Once it was known that my symptoms were the result of the hemorrhage in my brain it was time to discover what had caused the brain bleed in the first place. I was placed in the ICU and kept comfortable on Decadron medication. My first night at the hospital I spent it alone, my choice. I was advised by my nurse that it would be best for my family to go home and rest so that they were well rested the next day. There was nothing they can do for me at the hospital and I was in good hands. As the night was ending my family, who had arrived at the hospital earlier that day, made their way into my room to say their goodbyes. My parents were the last to stop into my room and asked again if I was okay staying alone, I reassured them it was better this way. They kissed my head and said their goodbyes as well, they assured me they would be there the following morning bright and early. I watched as they walked out my room and saw them disappear into the hallway. I was left there in my room alone, the lights off and the sound of the heart monitor beeping; I looked up at the ceiling and felt tears fall from my eyes. I was scared, scared of what they would find and the unknown. I knew I had to be brave I needed to be strong for myself and my loved ones. That morning I was woken at 5AM by my nurse who needed to take blood for labs that were to be done that day. I quickly fell back to sleep, but soon woke up again only this time I saw my dads face. That morning the doctor came into my room and informed that I was going to be taken to have an Angiogram. An Angiogram is when a catheter is placed in your groin and threaded to blood vessels that lead to your carotid artery ( the vessel in the neck that carries blood to the brain). A contrast dye is sent through the catheter and X-rays are taken of the vessels in the brain. This procedure helps doctors find any blockages or abnormalities in the brain. After my procedure we waited for the results, but never heard any news from any of the doctors. We were told that the doctor will be in the following morning with my results. That night my youngest sister stayed the night with me, I felt comfort with her presence there.
My 3rd day in ICU was my boyfriends birthday, and it was not the way we ever envisioned spending it. That day I received the results of my angiogram, they were able to identify where the rupture had occurred, but unfortunately they were unable to treat me there. I was told that plans were in the works to have me transported to UCI Medical Center where I would be seen and treated by a neurosurgeon that has dealt with this type of injury. The doctors were only able to answer a few questions but nothing with certainty since it was not their expertise. That night my youngest sister decided to stay the night with me again ( we share a room, so when one is missing it doesn’t feel right). My boyfriend arrived later than he wanted and he was my last visitor. It was already kind of late, but no birthday is complete without singing the “ Happy Birthday” song. So very quietly me and my sister sang him happy birthday, I saw his eyes glass over but I smiled and told him I was glad to spend yet another birthday with him. He had work the following morning but he hugged me tight and said his goodbyes.
My 4th day in ICU I was waiting to be transported to UCI. I was kept comfortable and every hour I had neuro checks to assure that there was no change in condition. After I had eaten dinner, I was told the ambulance had arrived that would be transporting me. My heart started racing and I was extremely nervous for my transport. I had gotten so used to where I was, and UCI is farther from home for me. My transport went smoothly, I had arrived at UCI late that night and was prepped for bed. I was unable to have any water or food once I arrived since I was told I would have a MRI the following day, but the nurse informed she was unaware of the time. That night my dad stayed with me, I was exhausted and fell asleep. The next day I woke and had my dad to keep me company and eased my nerves. That afternoon I had my MRI done. As soon as my MRI was completed I was finally able to eat! That evening I met with a neurologist who brought some ease to us all. They informed me though it was unlikely that someone as young as me had this happen, it was not as uncommon diagnosis. They diagnosed me with a Cerebral Arteriovenous Malformation (AVM). My AVM is an abnormal tangle of blood vessels that disrupts the normal blood flow to the surrounding brain tissue. The abnormal blood flow weakened the blood vessel walls which caused a hemorrhage in my brain. This caused my pressure headache, nausea and sensitivity to light at onset. Having a diagnosis brought ease to me. Knowing there was treatment options is all I could have hoped for.
On my 6th day in the ICU I was told that I would be able to be discharged home, with some restrictions. So after 6 days in the ICU and 2 different hospitals, I finally was discharged home.
Mairs Tangled Mess 